Introverts and Extroverts as Caregivers // Ep. 018

 

In this episode I’m joined by my friend Kim from the LOMAH podcast. I asked her to join us because we are opposites in so many ways. I’m an introvert who would rather keep James home than go anywhere. She’s an extrovert, who makes getting out part of the daily routine with her daughter Miranda. In this episode, we discuss how introverts and extroverts handle being a caregiver in different ways.

We cover:

  • times she’s felt lonely
  • how she creates and cultivates community
  • her view on hospitality
  • and the ways she’s made time for silence, solitude, and sabbath keeping

I know you’ll want to connect with Kim after you hear the episode: her website is lomah.org and her Instagram user name is journey2lomah.

Thanks for taking time today to listen to our conversation! We hope it’s as much fun for you as it was for us!

Quick Links:

Resources from Kim’s podcast, LOMAH, that we talked about in the show:

We don’t have a full transcript this week, but here are some of the highlights of our conversation.

Knowing where you get your energy from is a big part of self care. And knowing how to give yourself time to get that energy. – Sandra

I can still close myself off to the kind of friends that show up on a hard day, and you have done such a good job showing up for your friends, so now they are showing up for you in huge ways. – Sandra

I feel like I have the “everything is ok” mask on, and I don’t take that mask off for very many people. – Sandra

Self care as an extrovert is easier. With soul care, there are some extra barriers there. – Kim

I don’t entertain. I just open the door. – Kim

Allowing people to help you leads to greater intimacy and it makes people more likable. If you allow people to help you, it makes you more likable. – Kim

It’s been a big motivator for me to keep journaling so my youngest daughter, when she’s my age, will not just know her story and our family’s story will know where God was in all of it. – Kim

At sunset on Fridays, I shut off my phone and do no work on Saturdays. It’s been such a wonderful practice of trust and building those muscles of faith that the world is going to go on just fine without me, my family is going to be fine without me. – Kim

3-4 hour hike on Saturday mornings is part of my Sabbath rhythm. – Kim

In the future I won’t always be around for Miranda. I’m going to be gone. So I feel like building that faith muscle. The first few times if felt irresponsible … one day this is how it’s going to be, and I need to trust that everything’s going to be fine without me. – Kim

I’ve learned, especially in this season with Miranda that has been very intense and taxing, that my body is going to respond to the input. Stress things are going to be released in my body. I have found that the best way for me to get them out is for me to burn them off. – Kim

There are three anchors to my day to incorporate silence and solitude—in the morning, around lunch, and before I pick up the boys from school. – Sandra

The rush out the door was always so stressful. So I blocked off 45-60 minutes after school drop off to allow my body to reregulate. But with her home now, there’s no quiet time. It’s nothing but intensity throughout the entire day. – Kim

I can’t keep going without ever allowing my body to reset. – Kim

How do I make my body feel safe again? – Sandra

A lot of the self care stuff involves being able to step away. – Kim

As an extrovert, my first go-to tends to be people instead of stopping and bringing it to God first. – Kim

I can think of two seasons in my life when God put a lot of distance between my access to my people. After we moved, I wanted my community but there was a three hour time change. It felt really lonely. God was like, “What about me?” That’s when I started enjoying those hikes with God. – Kim

I used to have a hard drop off and then knock on the door of a friend’s house and sit around with a cup of coffee and my friend would be there for me. But then I had a hard drop off and had no where to go. But God was like, “I’ll have coffee with you. I’ll go on a walk with you.” – Kim

Now that I’m homeschooling again, I haven’t been able to go to my Bible study group that I’ve been going to for five or six years. – Kim

It’s a really sweet time between me and God. He can really do some great work when I allow him to be the one guiding, counseling, and talking me through it first and taking what He’s giving me and bringing that to my community. – Kim

As an introvert, I have push myself into community and realize what gifts they are to me. God uses them to sanctify me and support me and encourage me and teach me more about Him. My tendency is to say I’ve got my Bible and the Bible study I’m reading and I don’t need anything else. – Sandra

I need to be reminded of how God uses community. This time of social isolation reminds me how much I miss them. I still have my Bible and I still have my books, but something is missing.  – Sandra

We all should strive to be middleverts. – Kim

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