A Quick Announcement and a Favor (#Abidein2017 is almost ready!)


Abide: Self-Care for the Busy Mom releases in a few weeks, but I need your help!

Over a year ago, we moved from Pennsylvania to Texas and I found myself in a season of exhaustion. I was juggling meeting the needs of my eight-year-old son with autism, homeschooling my ten-year-old son with dyslexia, opening our home every week for Bible study as my husband and I planted a new church, and working as a writer and editor. So I devoted a month to better self-care. I’m still benefiting from what I learned that month and I’m ready to share it with you.  

On January 1st, I’m releasing Abide: Self-Care for the Busy Mom. Abide is purposeful and practical. It doesn’t add more to you to-do list—it transforms your to-do list for better fulfillment and efficiency.

Here’s where you come in …

I know what was causing all the stress and disorder in my life, but I don’t know what’s causing stress and disorder in your life! Before the final edits to the book, I’d love to hear from you to make sure I’m tacking the topics that are most important.

Do you have a minute to leave a comment and share what you feel is keeping you from taking better care of yourself right now? I can’t wait to learn from you!

If you want to learn more and be the first to get information about Abide, sign up below.

Want to Abide in 2017? Sign up today.

21 thoughts on “A Quick Announcement and a Favor (#Abidein2017 is almost ready!)

  1. I’m excited to read what you’ll share!

  2. I get so busy with small tasks that I neglect the bigger and often more important things. Then I feel overwhelmed by all of it.

  3. I am a SSHM to a 3 yo boy with autism, SPD, apraxia and possibly OCD. Recently I have had to take a step back from other responsibilities to focus on caring for my son. My husband’s work schedule is a lot different than most. He has Sunday & Monday off and I find myself getting my errands ran on those days. Mostly just grocery shopping.
    The biggest hindrance from any self care applied to-myself-is the guilt I feel for leaving my family. My husband and I never get any time away together and I feel like it would cause problems in our marriage if I started taking time to myself instead of staying home.

  4. What someone else said: “I get so busy with small tasks that I neglect the bigger and often more important things. Then I feel overwhelmed by all of it.”
    I have to prioritize nearly every minute of every day. On the other hand, I KNOW my days, my health, my happiness are all improved when I spend time with the Lord.

  5. I have trouble balancing being a fulltime teacher in public school, children’s ministry and worship team at church, and raising my three boys ages 3, 6, and 8. (6yr old is on the spectrum) . I feel like house work gets neglected the most. Simple things like folding laundry. By the end of the day (10pm typically) I am exhausted. So clean clothes stay in laundry baskets unfolded. It stresses me out that everything is a mess but I feel helpless to fix it.

  6. Homeschooling my son w/ASD, and second guessing myself along the way. My daughter (2) has started the evaluation process for ASD as well, so that’s adding to my stress level. I’ve also been warned by doctors to make lifestyle changes for my own health, and it’s a challenge! I guess the overarching theme is guilt. Guilt that I’m not doing enough, or doing the wrong things, or that I ruined my children, or am in the process of ruining them. See why I’m stressed?!?! 😉

  7. For me I put everyone else and their needs first and by the time I get to myself I find someone else has yet another need come up or I am too tired to address my own self. When I do put myself first I feel this incredibly heavy guilt for putting off the needs of someone I’m caring for to take care of myself. I’m hoping to learn or relearn how to balance it all well. I’m looking forward to this!

  8. Space. I have a 4.5 yr who is ASD as well as developmentally delayed and also a 2 year old. Often I don’t get any non interrupted time in the day to sit and do art or exercise. Also sleep issues often get me anxious and a bit sleep deprived.

  9. It is not as simple as making time for myself. I can sit in a room alone and still not find rest. My biggest obstacle for self care is finding the emotional space to
    identify my own needs. I have a NT 9 year old daughter, who I home school, and 5 year old son with ASD. My son’s rigid behavior dictates many things in our home and I feel the strain of constantly negotiating to keep the peace and guilt that my NT daughter is exposed to such a stressful environment.

  10. Hi Sandra.
    I do not have special-needs children or family. I saw this post shared by Teri Lynne and found your Facebook page and site. I do have a very close friend with a special-needs adult daughter facing some difficult times right now. I will send her to your site. Thank you and Teri Lynne for making me more aware of the loneliness of your situation. I will keep that in mind when I spend time with my friend. My prayers will focus on wholeness for all of you physically, mentally and spiritually. I do have a different, much less severe, loneliness myself. I am single and have been for 9 years now. I honestly expected God’s chosen husband to have arrived years ago. So loneliness may appear in many women’s lives in varying degrees and circumstances.

    I think we can somehow take that part of us – this lonely part – and turn it into real, beautiful goodness beyond our human ability with this power of God in us. That is my prayer. I pray God will take this feeling of loneliness and work it for good, for great, for pretty, for fantastic and for love. He will. We just need to expect it! You may want to address loneliness taking good away from us at times and how to battle that in your book. You may have already done it.

    I applaud your movement to help and encourage women with such full plates, fuller than most. God is using you in a lovely, lovely way!

    Truly Kernea
    At http://www.thebusywomansbiblestudy.com

  11. Lost my Mom 4 weeks ago. I have let everything go for so long that looking at everything that needs to be done is overwhelming. Depression & Grief have left me going in so many directions that I am not completing any major task right now. I seem to just go from one area to another and not completing anything. I have set goals, but don’t reach but one or two a day. I keep telling myself it is ok. I don’t have to please everyone else, only God & myself. Now if I could just stop feeling guilty for not doing more.

  12. The holiday season is always so busy anyway but add to the mix of raising a teen with special needs. My son is 13 and going through puberty; he has developed OCD tendencies in puberty. I feel it’s due to changes in his body that he can’t control, so he wants to feel in control of something. He wants to control the family schedule, especially my schedule. I am trying to help him work through his changes & help him understand what’s going on. This has added more stress to my life as well as my job as a Special Needs Youth Coordinator of a growing church program. I always worry about what the future holds for my son, too.

  13. Having a special child and knowing our life is like this forever while here on earth makes it difficult to do anything. There is no hope in anything of this world because we can’t do or enjoy it, not one part of it. So why even care to take care of myself? Why even care? Complete hopelessness.

  14. Everyone’s wants and needs are always put before mine. I rarely find a moment’s peace or alone time and when I do, it’s usually to cry.

  15. Hi Sandra. I have 4 boys, 2 with special needs. One is 19 years old with Asperger’s, Bipolar, ODD & OCD and living at home and the other is 13 and has ODD, ADHD & Anxiety,in 8th grade. Whenever I have a free minute I feel that I should be giving it to my neurotypical sons. I’m always concerned that they don’t get enough of me and my husband. I recently took up crochet (teaching myself) and it took some time to let the guilt leave that I was doing that for me because I’ve always wanted to learn. When I took walks it was so my dog would get some energy out not because I want/need to exercise.

    Recently, my husband took the same day off work that I do and while I was meal planning, paying bills and budgeting he sat there doing absolutely nothing. I mean, he had things to do and just sat there on his ipad. How can he do that? How can he decompress and let things slide and I can’t? (Believe me, I was hurt that he didn’t help with anything but I refuse to be a nagging wife)

    I guess guilt it my #1 motivator for not taking care of myself. My second excuse coming in close 2nd is reasoning with myself that there has to be something I can be doing for my family. I would love to hire a maid to take away the mundane tasks of cleaning. I think that would free up a lot of mental & physical time.

    Can’t wait to read your book!

  16. I need respite care. My daughter has medical, physical and cognitive disabilities. She is total care 24/7. If I don’t pay a sitter $13-$15/hr., I don’t get any time to do much self-care. I SLEEP when she’s at school and try to attend my own doctor’s appointments during her school day. My support system is very limited although I attend church. My husband is partially disabled so he can only help so much.

    My best self-care is attending counseling, maintaining my physical health via doctor’s appointments that I neglected far too long, deep breathing, watching comedy specials and enjoying old cartoons.

    • What area do you live in? I do house cleaning and would be glad to lend a hand (free) if you are in my area.

      • Central Florida USA

  17. I don’t have time for all I have to do everyday, nor the finances for “me”.
    I have 7 children, I am a pastors wife, homeschool mom, special needs mom. My husband works 2 jobs to keep us afloat. He leaves before sun up and returns just before sundown. He doesn’t have a day off. Everything related to our home and children is my responsibility. When people tell me to take time for myself, I get very discouraged and wonder if that is even Biblical advice. I wake every morning between 4-5 am and often don’t even have a chance to eat until evening. I am constantly on the go and serving my family. I take breaks now and then to look at facebook or send a quick text or message to a friend. I try to read before my kids wake in the morning or watch a show with my husband before bed at night. That’s about the extent of “me” time. And though I’m exhausted, it’s ok! The Lord takes care of us and I don’t have to worry about enjoying myself in this life-the next one can’t even compare, so I’ll make up for it then!

  18. Guilt. For feeling that putting myself first is selfish.

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